him…

See in you two Fridays in a row with your stupid smile, your “I don’t give a fuck” attatude, and just your brown eyes kills me inside. The thing is thats i loved  thous things about you and still do. Knowing that I gave you all and loved you with all my heart but you just through it down and smashed it in a million pieces without even batting an eye or hiding that smile. You where like the air I breathed and the gravity to my unavers. I was just another pawn in your life and a bother. We’ve been over since August 8th but it still kills me inside and I still cry once in awhile. Holding your hoodie one more painful memory filled night holdin in the tears as my friend sleeps so she won’t wake up and see the broken mess I truly am. Maybe she’d think less then me seeing be brake after she’s seen me stand so tall and not show any struggle. I’ve been throug hell in life and lots of relationships but his…. shot me through the heart then left it barely beating and slowly dying. I told him things I’d never even tell myself if that makes sense. He use to makes me fell so full of life, loved, and happy now he just makes me so dead, hopeless, and lost. I don’t get how someone can just give hope and make it out to be all lies. How can you look someone in the eyes as you hold the dear in your arms tell them you love them then rip out their heart and months later still wonder why they changed emotionally. I though I could be ok and the feelings would die but the feelings are still there I’m just what died….

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