depression

 

they think we are ok, just because we seem fine on the outside. bullshit. I may look fine, happy even. but goddamn it I am as miserable as ever. I am overly depressed, and I want to just give up. my depression has taken over my life, making me not even want to live anymore. sometimes I want to patch myself up with band aids and hope im fine when im done. I want to get better, I do. but its so hard when you don’t have anybody who understand how horrible it is. the tight feeling you get in your chest when you lay down, thinking about life without you. the depression pools over you, like a flood. it takes you under and sometimes it feels like you can never come up. the way your breathing hitches when you hear someone talking about suicide. the ringing in your ears as you cry and beg to just fucking die already. this is me, its all me. I want to fucking kill myself, because nobody really needs me. but one fucking band has helped me more than anything. them,their music everything. I found something worth living for, and thanks to them, I am 7 months self harm free. find something worth fighting for. because in the end you will be so glad. don’t get me wrong, im still depressed and deal with being suicidal, but thanks to 5 seconds of summer, I can push those thoughts back even for a little while. fighting is hard, I know that,but it all pays off in the end.

2 thoughts on “depression”

  1. Keep fighting, you will be surprised how many people In the world feel or have felt depression like you do. Well done on keeping of the self harming, it’s a hard thing to give up but you have come this far so keep it up. Try to do things you enjoy and keep social with positive people.

  2. hang in there.. Times may seem endless like you wont be able to make it through.. but you can and will. You must remember that you are loved by people and you have to surround yourself with those that do.Keep writing what you feel and what you think we are here to listen and read..Its all okay..

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