This Lost Feeling…

As I lay here, on this bed and begin to ponder the feeling of being lost it all comes back to how I feel about you. You are 1220 miles away from me, we made a promise to make it work, to be faithful and trusted by one another. Loyalty is the key in this situation.. But this distance is not just miles anymore, it is us itself. At the beginning it was constant talking, Skype every night, “I love you” had meaning, it wasn’t just three words on a bright little screen. The distance is coming between us, put all together our call conversations consist of 21 hours 32 minutes and 57 seconds. Our texts in a day range anywhere from 20-27, that includes what I say and what you reply.. Our Skype calls, my time 1 am. yours 2 am, you either call and wake me up, or im awake and we will talk for around an hour and than you will go to sleep but lately, we haven’t even done that. Each time we talk begins to get shorter and shorter, the less Skype calls, the less texts and regular phone calls.. This distance isn’t a matter of miles anymore.. I understand you have family things going on, A family movie, or a family dinner, A trip to the mall with your mother and little sister and they may be your biggest priority, but am I even one? You say you love me time and time again, you say you miss me but actions speak louder than words… I a not a materialistic girl. I don’t want to be showered with gifts and diamonds, I don’t want the world handed to me. I don’t ask for much but for someone to love me and be there when I need them the most. I want someone to show me I’m in their top 5 priorities… That im worth the couple hours of conversation. All I ask is that I get a couple more hours to talk to you, to hear your voice and see that smile.. Maybe a couple more seconds to send a text back, even ten minutes on phone call just to see how my day went or to tell me im beautiful. Frankly, I feel like this distance is tearing us apart, both ways, miles and feelings. I don’t know how much longer iw ill be able to do this and continue being torn and feelings as if you don’t have time for me, as if I am only worth talking to in the depths and darkness of your bedroom, like im an embarrassment.. Show me im worth more, before this distance becomes nothing…

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