Today I realized that this home will never feel safe again…that this is no longer my sanctuary from the world. My ex boyfriend lives here with me still. I have asked him to stay as long as he likes, I asked for multiple reasons. In part because I do love and care for him and in part as punishment…so he can remind me what a terrible person I am…There are so many bad memories here now…there is no peace. I don’t know what it will be once he is gone.