Just some harsh facts of life…

I want to write but dont know what to say… overall I have been feeling pretty good these past days… there are a lot going on in my head right now…. like one actual thing is that I kinda got pointed out that me never having enough money is my own fault…. like I didn’t know that, but this time it’s really like a hamer on my head and I guess I do chose to be broke all my life…. so let’s not talk about what opportunities life has robbed me off to actually get a great, well payed job… what I never could really break out anywhere… I could blame it all… and maybe part of it is true… but in the country I live now it really seems to be imposssible to get a well payed full time job I would want if I don’t qualify for it…

So a great point is that whenever I start looking for jobs avaliable and I come across a potential vacancy and I read the qualifivations for the job I do not qualify on any of them I just give up…. what’s  the point right? I am not going to make a total fool out of myself and go sit there at the job interwiew and tell them I can’t do this and have never even heared of that or whatever…. so what is the right approach to this if you have zero education and even less work experience? Just go for whatever anyway? What’s the worst that can happen? So you will feel like an idiot sitting there talking to the boss of the company… if you get that far even… you just move on and go to the next? Like I would love to study but for that I need money aswell, so for me to study I need to get a well payed job to finace my studies…. totally stuck!!!

So I am asking this ultimate question to myself: what is it that I want at the end? And what am I prepared to do to get it? What steps am I prepared to go throught to get to the place where I wanna be financially? What is important? Can i get over the feeling of beeing a compleate failure and just brush it off and get up and go to the next job interwiew? What is important? Is this a small thing? Is this one of those things where you say: Keep trying! Dont give up! Eventually  it will come to you!? All that matters is that you keep trying?

I need to think a lot more about this… find the right approach that would inspire me rather than get me down…

Or is it just that I just need to go get out there and do whatever it takes and not give a crap about how it makes me feel if I get rejected… will need a strong support system for this….I like how it sounds though… it sounds like me… yes… thats how I do… but that determination only holds untill the first rejection…. how do I keep it going?

 

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