p.97

you do not know what it is to be
faceless
to be an expected privilege that is
agony
I was the sacrificial virgin
raised from infancy
to throw myself into the flaming
pyre willingly
the stinging that licked my
bones dry was comfort
I learned to feel pain as my
purpose

you do not know what it is to be
nothing
to scurry down the stairs after
the fight
unpack the groceries, soup cans
dented
from being thrown across the
room at my brother
I hold my shaking sibling
in my arms until he pushes
me away like he’s been taught

you do not know what it is to be
obsolete
to be the face that no one looks
for in a crowd
I have never been chased or
sought after
only traded over in dull post-
battle agreements
never the prize, nor the warrior,
I go unnamed to myth
my face would launch no ships
I promise you

you don’t know what it is to
be on fire inside ice
to burn while freezing from lack of heat
I have been burning since
I was 13
but I managed to keep this
polar ice cap
to surround my flames so
they would not hurt you
this is what I live for

you don’t know what it is to be
a chess piece
in this war that I was thrown
into
you don’t know what it is to
long for love
but to destroy it for yourself
every chance you get

you do not know the agony
it takes to exist
in this temple of a skeleton
of a body that I inhabit

you don’t understand

Leave a Reply

SCROLL TO TOP