Step by Step
Monday, May 25, 2015
“The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. (The) brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. …(A) mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and – oblivion.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 1, p 6.
Today, gratitude that I awoke today without regret of what I might have done or said last night, without a sense of dread of what this day will bring and without the fear of some unknown disaster that feels like a bomb is about to explode and I don’t know where to hide. Today, I have clarity of all I said and did last night, no dread of what these 24 Hours will serve and no need to run from a non-existent fear. AA has strengthened me with faith and trust in a Higher Power who, in turn, has graced me with faith in the 12 Steps and, above all, with sobriety. But I cannot take for granted that I awoke sober today and with a sense of purpose. My reprieve from all those morning after’s of so many yesterday’s is only for this day, and this day I must continue to work toward awakening to the next 24 Hours without “remorse, horror and hopelessness.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015