p.147

“You’ll be okay.”

Yes, I know, but right now I’m locked up in my room, trying to drown myself in words coming from sharp tongues.

Yes, I know, but right now I’m out of breath each time I think of him because he probably loves another, and each time I try to forget about it, he looks at me and I’m spiraling out of control again.

Yes, I know, but right now I’m scared of the dark so I load my tongue with pills to stay awake, and no matter how much concealer I apply, I still see the past 52 hours under my eyes.

Yes, I know, but right now I can feel my foot tapping, tapping, tapping, my hands are shaking, shaking, shaking, because I sent him an apology a few minutes ago and now I don’t have phone service.

Yes, I know, but right now I leave the house an hour early even though there’s ice in my lungs and snow in my veins because I don’t feel at home when I’m home.

“You’ll be okay.”

Yes.
I know.
But right now I’m not.
And I’m tired of pretending like I am.

-tell me something I don’t know

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