I Remember

I don’t remember much these
days. I try to remember where
I need to be. But even some of
that just slips,
through
the
cracks.

I remember giving up.
Realizing I’ve tried but,
this is all I get.
This is it.

I remember when I thought I’d
figure it all out. I was gonna
be subversive and cheat. I
had the answer. I was wrong.

I remember the full moon walks.
Hours passing under my feet.
Just a stranger in the darkness.

I remember the freedom.
The ugly carpet.
The leaky tub.
The days crying.

I remember the mania.
I was made of ideas.
I had all the thoughts but no one
could keep up. Sleep be damned.

I remember the death. Trouble.
Death. Everything was dead.

I remember a walk home from
a bus. Everyone thought I’d gone
missing. I made sure to step on
every single crack.

I remember screaming.
A tantrum from a high chair.
Just wailing.
Scream.
Scream.
Scream.

I don’t think I ever stopped.

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