Today is just one of those “off days” I dont really have anyone to talk to… and the people I do have my friends I don’t want to because I dont want to make the same mistakes I have in the past. By talking to people but having my life judged or my boyfriend or whatever it may be. Then at the end of the day who do you talk to… well I guess thats exactly why i started writing again in the first place..To feel not so alone i supose. Unfortuantly this doesn’t give me advice I just have to do what I feel is right. Im just overwhelmed lately, work, kids , etc and I was doing so good not that im not still happy because im happy. Iv just felt alone a lot lately Aaron being busy I dont feel like we talk as much… with opposite work schedules. 2 weeks is a long time to not see your boyfriend and i feel like its just eating me up inside…. and then not talking to him as much as i want .. it just sucks.
I just need to continue keeping myself busy. It is just hard when you feel like somethings wrong… clearly its just me over thinking. But i start to wonder if he cares if he talks to me throughout the day?? I mean clearly he has a life in Michigan and everyday things to do… not just jump on the computer to talk to me all the time. But i don’t know I just hope its not something crazy like him taking to someone else. It would break my heart (again), and i don’t think i could handle that again. Just keep thinking positive and ill be ok… but then I feel like i just ignore certain things just cause I don’t want to get emotional or fight
But its going to be a long next 4 days workworkwork. And of course I’m gonna have to work on all my emotions and not blame him or be mad at him… and not feel alone because him being so far he can’t really do a whole lot and i can’t blame anyone else this is always how its been. Nothing has changed.