Step by Step
Friday, June 26, 2015
“More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), p 73.
Today, if take the Fifth Step and confess to another person about “the exact nature of (my) wrongs,” may I be given the strength and courage to be honest with my toughest prospect: myself. Like Jekyll and Hyde, I displayed two personalities in my drinking days – the party animal or the isolated, depressed lonely drinker as I drank my way into oblivion and, the morning after, the physically and emotionally broken person for everyone to see. I must meld both characters into one to find the actual self on which to build recovery, and that effort will likely be nil if I am not honest with myself first before taking Step Five. Honesty begins with myself; without it, my Fifth – and my Fourth, for that matter – is based on illusion. In the end, so will my recovery be based on illusion. Today, let me understand the wisdom that honesty, before it is given to anyone else, has to begin with me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015