At only 18 years old, I found out I was pregnant. Not only did I never think I would be the one to have a child, I am faced with this difficult but rewarding journey as a teen. The father and I were only together for one week before I found out what would soon change mine and his life forever.
On January 18, 2015, I found out the news after I made a stop at the doctors office after being nearly a week overdue for my period. I took a pee test, and as I was waiting in the doctors office for the news, it was taking so incredibly long for the doctor to come back it was unbearable. About 10 minutes felt like 30 minutes as I waited in the small room for the man to come in with the news, that could either allow me to go on about my life like the way it was, or the news that would change the way I lived all together. Well, he finally came in and sure enough the test results were positive. This man seemed like he had been giving these positive test results to people for so long it didn’t even phase him. When he told me it was almost like he had repeated the same words 1,000 times in that day. Right after he said the words “The test results came back positive, you are pregnant”, he bombarded me with many other things about vitamins I should be taking from now on and many other things I didn’t seem to grasp because of the news I was just given. I was in awe. So many things were going through my head. What is Mike (my boyfriend) going to say? What was my parents, grandparents, friends, relatives going to think of me? How on earth am I going to raise a baby, possibly on my own? I was living in a hair salon at the time alone without a job and barely going to school to finish my final class I had left before I graduated. I was doing so poorly for myself. How was I supposed to take care of another being when I couldn’t take care of myself. That was the question I asked myself almost every hour of every day. Not once did I think about abortion or adoption. I have never believed abortion was an option and with the amount of love I have in my heart I could never find it in me to give up something I created. He gave me a pamphlet and sent me off.
I waited for my step dad and step sister to pick me up from the doctor and I didn’t want to tell them first as I was still thinking about how my life was changing the entire car ride, anyway. It was a silent ride back and as soon as I stepped in the door I was fighting back the tears. I walked past my mom and she asked how my appointment went at the doctors. I told her before I left that I had to go in because I thought I had a bladder infection (which I knew I didn’t to begin with). She saw some tears in my eyes and knew right away the news. She whispered if I was pregnant, I nodded my head and she gave me a big hug and reassured me that everything would be alright and she would be there for me every step of the way. Like every parent should do! I was so relieved that it went well with her. I didnt know how I was going to tell her but it all fell right into place. With that reassurance it made me feel so much better and glad that I had such an amazing family that was there for me no matter what.
I told a few of my close friends, one of which WASN’T so supportive but I sadly had to take her out of my life because my baby was more important. I then told my sister, who was ECSTATIC about the news and she began giving me tips and information right away. She is a nurse so she knows a lot about pregnancy and babies, thank god! She also reassured me that she is there to talk no matter what and I am so thankful. Now for Mike, my dad, and my brother. I told my brother I believe two days after and he was so excited for me as well as it is his first niece/nephew!
I waited an entire week before I told Mike, my boyfriend, as I was planning on seeing him that weekend. I went over to his friends house he was staying at for the time being and I didn’t know how I was going to tell him. It was so difficult, as I didnt know him very well and I didnt know how he would react. I told him I had to talk to him, we went into the room he was sharing with his friend and we sat on the bed. I couldnt find the words to say, I was so nervous of what might come. The words just didnt come out of me, so I said, “Do you know why I need to talk to you?”. He said, “I think I do.” It felt a little better that he had an idea, so the words finally came out and I said that I was pregnant. He asked if it was his kid, and I said yes. Than what made me happy beyond belief he said to me that he will be there 100% through it all. He held his hand on my belly and kept apologizing for putting me through this. I told him not to be sorry because it was equally both of our faults, and that I was just glad he was going to be there.
Things were going great for us from there on. He moved into an apartment with his brother and shortly after I moved in, about in the middle of February 2015. It was so nice to finally have a place to call home, with the one person I loved more than anything. Was definitely a step up from living in the hair salon! In one week, I graduated high school, signed up for university, got my learners license, put money aside into a savings account for a down payment on a house for Mike and I in just over a year, and we are the happiest couple you can imagine!
As of right now, I am 28 weeks pregnant today and doing very well myself! We found out when I was 19 weeks exactly that we were having a baby boy! His legs were spread wide apart for the ultrasound, hes not a very modest boy I guess! I have had little to no symptoms. At first I struggled with seizures that they never found what was the cause of them. I am in my third and final trimester today and the only thing bothering me is the weight gain! In British Columbia we are experiencing the hottest summer we have ever had. I believe yesterday it went up to a record breaking 40 degrees and even though I have been avoiding the outside I am still dying inside of our apartment! With all the pregnancy weight gain it has been brutal, also feeling quite down on myself lately from the amount of stretch marks appearing all over my body… It is something I cant avoid but I wish this journey through pregnancy didnt have to come with that. Another thing I havent been enjoying too much is the weight of my baby boy inside of me! If I have an even slightly full bladder his weight will push on it and I will have to go pee immediately. Braxton hicks contractions are a little uncomfortable, could definitely do without. Pretty much feels like your entire stomach is tightened and when you feel your belly its rock solid. With the tightening of the belly comes the once again full bladder and the need to pee.
Other than the heat, stretch marks, weight gain and the constant need to pee I have had a pretty decent pregnancy! I still have 12 weeks to go though. And in this heat its not going to be easy. As of now, my boyfriend and I are stressing mad about money and affording our rent for the month, phone bills and food. I have all the baby supplies taken care of but with our tiny apartment, its all piled on top of each other because we have no space! Because it is only him working right now, we have applied to go onto something called rental assistance. It is for families like us where the father is working but isnt making quite enough to support a family. They help you out with paying rent. We are in the middle of applying for that and hopefully by the time our baby Greyson comes along we will be on that and have our own place to live. 🙂
So all in all, its definitely a journey to stop living the way you were and to change your life around for the little innocent being growing inside of you. You have to make sacrifices, changes and good decisions from the minute you find out that are going to benefit you and your baby in the long run. I got off lucky with an amazing boyfriend that is there 100% for his baby boy and I. Some arent so lucky and their boyfriend runs away when he finds out. Just know the consequences of being unsafe when having sex and that its not just an easy decision you can make one day and say “oh hey I want a baby, maybe it will change my life for the better!”. People who think like that should get some sense knocked into their head. Take some deep thought before you try for a baby. Think to yourself, am I financially and emotionally ready for a baby? Am I finished college/uni and have my career going and have maternity leave planned out? Are my husband/boyfriend and I in a good spot in our lives where this is something we are able to take on? Just be sure that you are positive that your relationship is going to work out in the long run as your child is growing up. Growing up without my dad there a lot of the time made an impact on my life that I hope my son never needs to go through.
I cannot wait to show my son the world and teach him lessons that he will one day teach his kids. Having a child is such a wonderful gift that everyone should be able to experience at the right time in their lives. I cant wait to begin my own family and try to be as amazing of a mother like my mom was to her kids. Greyson will grow up into a wonderful, smart, respectful man and I cannot wait to be there through it all to see it. 🙂