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July 19, 2015 – Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step
Sunday, July 19, 2015
 
The mental state of the sick alcoholic is beyond description. I had no resentments against individuals – the whole world was all wrong. My thoughts went round and round with ‘What’s it all about anyhow? People have wars and kill each other; they struggle and cut each other’s throats for success and what does anyone get out of it? Haven’t I been successful, haven’t I accomplished extraordinary things …What do I get out of it? Everything’s all wrong and hell with it.'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part I (“Personal Stories”), Ch 6 (“The Vicious Cycle”), pp 244-45.

Today, an inventory of my mental state even if I am not drinking, if for no other reason than to make sure I’m not on a dry drunk. If ever I thought in my drinking days that “the whole world was wrong,” do I still harbor that belief? Instead of adapting myself to the world and finding my own place in it, do I still consciously or unconsciously expect the world to change to adapt to me? If I do, chances are my Fourth Step was the immoral inventory of the world around me, not an inventory of myself – or I have neglected tolerance. The “sick alcoholic” does not have to be a drinking one. Today, to make sure I am not just dry, my mental state requires a checkup that I’m not still the sick alcoholic of my drinking days. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015

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