I want this to serve as a reminder to myself, no matter what I think I’m going through, she is going through 10x the pain and suffering. Remember, this women sacrificed herself to give birth to two children, and then sacrificed her needs and wants every single day there after to take care of those kids, and me. Then I need to fucking remember that after she had put everything she had in to us and our family, after she recited her vows and actually understood them and meant them, I betrayed/mutilated/shattered/obliterated EVERYTHING. Remember that SHE had to read those foul texts, SHE is tortured daily by the thoughts and images in her mind of ME with someone else. Remember how heartless I was to bring my fucking children, and my wife around this putrid whore… Remember that I committed this vial crime, and SHE is suffering, so give her the time she needs, give her the space, give her whatever the hell she wants. My bullshit pain really is none of her responsibility, so STOP PUTTING IT ON HER! If I have to sit alone in a fucking dark room sobbing, deal with it… That is not her pain to bare. When/IF she is ready, she will come forward, the only thing I should be worried about is WILL I BE READY!?