……

Tonight, I saw your pain first hand, I could feel it… I could feel the absolute despare as a result of what I have done… I have never witnessed such tragedy. And there is nothing I could do. Nothing I can say will even start to make things better. In those moments, you didn’t have to say anything, I could feel your anger towards me, I could feel  your heart break and disbelief at what I have done to you and our family. I wanted so bad to hold you, and say anything and take all that away. But there is nothing to be said. This is probably the hardest night I have had, but then I think about what you are feeling, and I just can’t even phathom it… Seeing our innocent little babies sleep, while their mothers heart breakes as a result of what I have done, is the worst tragedy I will ever see. A father, a husband should never inflict pain like this on his family. After tonight, my hope for the future fell dim, because I saw what I have done to you, and I don’t know if any amount of change or time can heal it… I love you three, so much. My love for you guys has always been there, but I was too selfish to let it out. I hope to god that love can conquer all, because seeing you like I did tonight, makes me want to go to war. I would do absolutely anything for you three, I swear that everyday for the rest of my life will be dedicated to you, and making you feel as beautiful, special, amazing and loved as I know you are…

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