I have put a large amount of effort & time into trying to reach out my mother on an emotional level rather than the insane attempts, much failed due to it being the
same Verbal banter she has batted around at me for the last 30 years.
1st of all, mom ( Debbie Pauline ) has Fourth Stage COPD. She the last one living in her immediate family as of now, standing with/from the complex natures of her disease.
2nd of all, she still smokes everyday……. UGH
3rd : She is most likely never going to stop believing that, she is no-longer dying.
4th : I have been the sole care provider & guardian of Mom since her husbands sudden death. I am ALL she now has. Which brings into play the other 500 plus reasons why I feel like this writing project is so importantly forming to me. And as personal as this is going to be for me emotionally, I must have a support group set in place beforehand for this idea, story, and poetic tribute to my Mama, to become the great success that I KNOW IT WILL BE, not just for me, but to millions of moms and dads, and the rest of us. I mean after all : We’re all just Human
( Now, without taking up more time than needed, I’ll go ahead and share my 5 TH REASON, Then you’ll
understand where the other some odd hundreds will emerge from )
5 : There are Four of us born to the same parents. Yet, I am the only one that has ever remained standing strong with my resolve throughout all the family drama. Most of it steams from mom & dads abusive relationship becoming so toxic that the Four of us were severally abused nearly all of our childhood years.
And lastly, I DON’T GIVE UP ON FAMILY, LOVE, KINDNESS & MOST importantly OF ALL GREAT THINGS……….. FORGIVENESS
So I really need to do this, and soon. As moms health will surely continue to fail her if she continues to think AND ACT like a dying woman. We’ll get into her reasons for crying, her reasons for denying everything and the way she recollects events in her and our lives, that never happened, weren’t ever & couldn’t of been.
Why…… I beat you’re wondering why I would want to do this. 1 reason
SHE’S STILL MY MAMA
No mistakes a person makes in life can ever be corrected UNLESS the truth is admitted, owned, accepted and held with greater worth then any and all other earthly assets. For mom, her time is running out to forgive herself and to let go of the disease that she WILL certainly die from….. RESENTMENT
I think I can help lead her and show her the way to forgiveness, but NOT without her putting forth the honest effort on her part first. TO FIND TRUTH AND SET HERSELF FREE.