Every human being is a contradiction

It happened
His bedroom should have been my first clue. Posters and pictures on the walls to the likes of a high school junor’s room or college dorm room at best; A random exercise mat on the floor next to his bed…which i tripped on more than once in my drunken state..and embarased to say in my sober state as well.

But if Im being really honest, the house screamed FRAT HOUSE the moment you walk in the door. Beer pong table and darts in the living room, rows of mattresses in the attic, and overflowing recycle bags full of beer cans.

What was I thinking…?

I believe it went something like this: I had been out at my friend’s cottage the night before for the holiday weekend. I had not planned on getting wasted of course, but one shot led to another, and before we knew it we were doing karaoke (on a machine from the 80s) at midnight. My friend’s father started getting nostalgic and talking about the Good Ole Days. With half of us already passed out, it wasn’t long before the rest of us decided to join the slumber. My friend’s brother decided that he might have a shot with me tonight and chose to sleep on the same Queen size pull out bed next to me. That lasted about five minutes, until I felt him keep moving and inching closer. I decided to move to the next bedroom where I found a free bed next to my friend and her boyfriend, who I’m sure has a thing for me. Instead of being spooned by my friend’s brother, I had my other friend’s boyfriend trying to play footsie with me most of the night. In the morning he apologized if he had by chance “kicked” me.

The plan had been to come home that night so that I didnt have to deal with the anticipated sleeping arrangements and other lovely things (i.e. three dogs running wild, my allergies, and a slight case of anxiety and claustraphobia from all the clutter in the cottage). I woke up checking my phone to figure out what to do with my day and of couse checking the weather forecast…again! You can’t have a boat day with rain…at least not a fun one.

Fast forward, I arrive at my friend’s house where they’re all waiting for me because everyone else is ready and Im late. What else is new? I used to be one of those people who hated when people were late and would always arrive anywhere at least 10 minutes early…but then I met my friends. These days it seems noone is ever on time anymore for social calls. If youre on time, youre early. So Im late…once again. We go to the liquor store and I decide I need a Monster drink to survive the long day’s festivities… but I left my wallet back at my friend’s place. By this point, I feel like a homeless person already and it’s barely noon: I’ve had no shower, didn’t brush my teeth, and I have no wallet. But at least I still have beer left over from the night before so the essentials are covered.

We get on the boat where we are now waiting on Drew’s (that’s his name) girl friend that is also joining us. When people ask if they’ve met her, he responds with descriptive comments such as “she’s the one who just sits in the back of the boat.” I wonder what he says about me when I’m not there. She finally arrives with two of her friends and a dog, and she’s one of the sweetest girls on the boat. Why was he just talking shit about her? Is he really this clueless or is he just an asshole?

The day carries on as I’m getting quite tipsy and ignoring Drew the whole day. It’s kind of this dance we do where we act like we don’t know each other in public until he gets tipsy enough or feels like coming over to talk. I spend most of the day actually flirting with Jarred amongst others. Jarred is actually quieter and a better guy than most in the boating community. I don’t mean to stereotype, but if the shoe fits… The boating community is sort of its own planet filled with people who are too young to have Arthritis but too old to be in college. Besides drinking there’s quite a few drugs being passed around. Not to menton, most people look way too comfortable around each other, to the degree of leading you to believe that they’ve all hooked up at one point or another.

Moving on to the end of the night, Jarred leaves on another boat but says that he wants to see me after. So when me and Drew plan on going to get food after, I invite Jarred of course. By this time, I am definetely wasted and ready to make some questionable decisions. At the restaurant, I have Drew on one side and Jarred on the other. Jarred keeps flirting with me and tries to kiss me at one point. I kiss him back but really fast because Drew is there and I can’t tell if he caught that or not (he seems preoccupied with his drink). Jarred then proceeds to say “why are you being shy now? Do you have a boyfriend?” I have to sincerely respond with “of course not!!” Jarred picks up the tab and leaves because he has work in the morning. After Jarred leaves, Drew starts making fun of him, which I find endearing in a way showing his jealousy about the situation. That’s all the go-ahead I need to decide to spend the night at Drew’s.

We come back to his place, and not surprisingly there’s three dudes chilling on his couch watching something on TV. None of them turn to even look at us. (Frat house remember? There’s always someone coming or going.) Which I do not mind, because I know that this is not something I wanted to be remebered for. We go in the basement first where he shows me his weight room. I jokingly ask him “Is this where you bring all the ladies?” And he just looks at me and laughs. I should’ve taken that as a yes. He asks if I want to go up to his room, and I say yes. Now the walk back upstairs starts, where again I make no eye contact with anyone in the living room.

Back in his room, I have people messaging me asking if they can come over to his place to play beer pong. I take off my contacts and remember how terrible my vision is. I ask him to go get my glasses for me… I’m sure you can guess his response. I have to make another trip through the living room. This time I run! Literally. Both to my car and back. My glasses didn’t stay on for very long after that.

He was more caring than I imagined he would be. In the morning I woke up in his arms and was surprised at how sweet he was still being. We had sex one more time and after that is when it started to get weird. All of a sudden, he was more distant and anything i said he shrugged off as if he didn’t really care. It could’ve had something to do with me looking at my phone and telling him that Jarred had apologized about the night before. Should I not have looked at my phone? I could tell he was peeking over my phone as we were both on our phones for a minute. I was just trying to be honest…#toohonestformyowngood. I decided to leave about a half hour later and announced this. His eyes were closed and he didn’t say anything. I then got up and gave him a chance to respond for a few minutes. Still nothing… I go over to him and poke him and say “Hey are you going to keep fake sleeping?” He smiles as he opens his eyes and just nods his head. I say “ok well bye, see ya later,” as he is rolling over and still says nothing. I walk away and shut his bedroom door. Thankfully noone is in the livng room in the morning…no walk of shame today. And as I am pulling out of his driveway, I see another car pull in. And I have to remind myself again, Frat House REMEMBER?!!

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