Yea Alex came home last night drunk and also on something. He was crying saying he wanted to kill himself. He was angry and sad at the same time. For once he actually didn’t try hugging or kissing me. He didn’t try having sex with me either. He just wasn’t interested in me. He wanted to get alcohol or drugs. He was up most of the night on my phone and coughing so loud I couldn’t sleep. Then this morning we woke up he took my phone so he could use it and I kept asking for it back and he kept saying 1 minute and he would take 5 mins I was getting mad so he started getting mad and said hold on and shut up. I said you don’t care about us you don’t even say goodbye to our son and as he walks out he says bye like he’s pissed. I can’t take this hurt anymore. I’m so depressed all I want to do is sleep. I guess I’m moving with my parents until I find my own place. Hopefully I can find a place of my own soon. I need to and want to start being more independent. I want someone who will be a boyfriend and father figure to Caleb and eventually I can remarry and be happy forever. But who knows if I’ll ever find love again. I lost so much hope in this relationship thinking it was strong but it’s weak it’s dying.