I don’t know when i started to loose my self. I think it was freshman year of college when i was more preoccupied with keeping my friends and smoking weed to even go to class. Or was it when I was twelve and had to move back to the Dominican Republic, with out my mother or father, because i was here illegally? To be completely honest i don’t care anymore, not about anything. I feel numb all the time. The only things that spurs the slightest of emotion in me is buying makeup or other nicknacks. My therapist says its a normal slump that most young adults go through, but I really don’t know. Where did i go wrong? I mean i graduated from my private catholic high school with honors, I had so much potential, then BAM, its like something hit me and all of a sudden. I gave up! I got kicked out of college my fall semester of my sophomore year, you should of seen the look on my mothers face when i told her i let 30,000 go down the drain. I was sure I heard her heart break. I moved back home and started to attend community college. I did fairly well that spring semester, even got asked to join the national honor society, then BAM! the slump hit me again and to be completely honest idk if I’m even passing my classes this semester. The shitty thing is that my acceptance to my state school I’m going to next semester depends on me passing. I am dazed with what my life has become but oddly content because i know i hit rock bottom and there is nowhere for me to go but up.
My therapist said keeping a journal would be crucial to my recovery. I hate my hand writing so I decided to keep it online. Since I will be pouring my heart out and admitting my deepest darkest secrets I decided to keep it anonymous. Background information: I am a 20 year old girl/women (not quite sure which one), attending community college and transferring to a state school spring 2016.