TONIGHT WAS A GOOD NIGHT. Until it happened. I was drinking with my cousin and a few friends. The night went on and I slept with my cousins friend twice within a 4 hour time span. I gave my first blowjob. I was so scared and high off my ass that I went along with it. It was interesting. Still very paranoid about STDs and stuff.
As the night moved on the other kids passed out drunk. My cousin and I stayed up drinking. Then he decided that since he hasn’t had sex in a year. We should mess around. (Keep in mind we are both drunk) so we started fooling around. Next thing I know, he is pulling it out. And we started having sex. It lasted about 45 mins. When it was done I felt sick. I’m disgusting I know. Don’t tell me I already know I’m gross and a disgrace. I want to cut. But there’s to many people in my house. I want to die. I’m sick. I can’t believe it.