The Beginning

Dear Journal

Welcome to the first of many entries that I will make. This is the only way I know how to get my true feelings out without the fear of being judged.

As this is the first entry, I feel it is only right that I give a little background on myself. I was adopted at 9mos from South Korea. I was adopted by a wonderful family that I have come to both resent and love with all my heart.

Growing up I was blessed and lucky enough to ride and show quarter horses. Both my parents did whatever they could to make sure that I reached my dreams. I always felt a little weird and left out while they did this. I felt pushed aside and that my brother, who is 10yrs older than me, always got their affection. Looking back, I now realize that it was only so that I could reach all my dreams.

I had wanted to go to the All American Quarter Horse Congress since I went to visit one year. It was my goal to not only ride, but to place. By the time I actually got there, I was third out of 95. It was the happiest day of my life. I wouldn’t give that experience up for the world.

I was also part of my high school equestrian team though I didn’t put as much effort into. I felt that I was too good and that the other girls on my team were holding me back. I let them know that as well. For this, I am sorry. I missed out on a great bunch of girls and friends that I could have had for life.

Through this, my teenaged years that is, I dated one boy that I knew would piss my parents off. In all honesty, he was my first love. I felt like he was completely wrong for me at first but love and affection truly does grow. We were together about a year and a half before he called me while at a horse show and broke up with me. He let one of the girls on my equestrian team influence him.

After that, I tried college but it just wasn’t for me. I wanted the party aspect of it but none of the studying. I still feel like studying is a waste, especially for those subjects that I feel I will never use again. For this, I know I will only get so far in life and I have come to terms and accepted this. I did go to work part time. I was great at my job and had a sense of pride at what I was doing at the time. This first job has helped me have¬† sense of pride and ambition for everything that I do now.

So that’s my background. I may go into more the more that I write but that is the basics about me.

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