Confused

Lately I’ve been confused about my sexuality. I have always been into guys. Yes, I have fooled around with a girlfriend or two, but it was never anything serious. But here I am @34 years old, and having some less than friendly feelings about a girl friend.

It all started with the brush of her fingers on my arm. I immediately felt a rush of feeling. I responded. this has since progressed to sleep overs, and cuddles. Innocent cuddles, but creates confused feelings in me. I want to talk to her, but don’t really know how. Plus there is always a fear of rejection. She is one of the kindest, thoughtful, caring people I know. I love here sense of humor, her willingness to be crazy with me (like not wearing pants for a whole day), and don’t care who’s watching attitude. I wish I was a little more like her actually. 

I hate this feeling of uncertainty. 

4 thoughts on “Confused”

  1. The brush of her fingers was all it took to awaken something I never knew existed. An occasional touch, or a playful look, leaves me excited, yearning and hopeful. Hidden desires become reality in dreams revealing truths I hide, even from myself.
    But how to make these hopes and dreams the reality I long for them to be?
    Daily being torn apart by desire and fear, afraid of the answers but longing for the release the truth brings.
    The possibility of rejection, of the finality of NO leaves me frozen, outweighs what happiness and relief YES could mean.

  2. most of these feelings come from when you have a broken heart one too many times and sometimes a women knows how you feel so I agree go for it and see what happens

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