for the man i used to love.

He stop disturbing me he’s starting to make a new friends, starting to go out without me knowing… I’m jealous but cest la vie Ive been pushing him to do that, so why should i?

Im scared that i might not be able to find a better guy than him cause, whether i like it or not hes the best boyfriend i had, like what i always tell him he always wants whats good for me and Im always his first priority which is i really dont like i dont know whats wrong with me I just dont like the idea of taking care of .. y’know what i mean?

Im not a clingy type of girl i dont like sweet messages in the morning nor before i go to sleep i hate being ask where are you, what are you doing and everything which is start from W i dont like getting question and the worst part is i need to explain it in english and i cant speak english when im mad

His parents are nice .. they really are especially his mom I remember when the first time she saw me were both shocked and she start scolding him because she thought his son is inlove with a malay (not to be racistbut i think they dont like their son to marry a malay) but then when she realized im not, she fucking chill and calm down and the rest is history (I never had chance to introduce my self because they talking in alien language) about a month ago when im having a dinner to his house his mom suddenly ask me if i dont mind getting the small girl (they have a visitor if im not mistaken the small girl she referring is her friend’s daughter) to be our flower girl on our wedding and i was like O.O ” I would love to aunty but im no longer his gf so im not sure if were getting married” — whisper in my mind ..

*I just facetime him while typing this* anw ..

 Theres no perfect relationship we fought everytime we have a chance i love him i really do Just tired of crying before i sleep tired of thinking what ive done again to make him mad to the point that he will curse me to death .. tired of hurting each other, breaking stuff and breaking trust .. we love each other i know cause if not were not going to celebrate 2nd anniversary which is last december although i know theres no more spark before we reach 2 years and were still trying but what is 2 years if we going to hurt each other ryt? whats in my mind now is ..


Even im badly missing you … ADIOS! PAALAM!

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