English country garden

I like to light wax melts, incense or scented candles. Focussing on the smell is grounding, somewhat. Today’s flavour is ‘freshly cut grass’ but it reminds me more of the conservatory-type rooms you get in walled gardens in the summer.

January’s always a difficult month. Every season has its own pitfalls – and evokes a different kind of ‘crazy’ in my little world. However, I’m noticing the days getting slightly longer, as if minute-by-minute. I’ve already seen a few frostbitten snowdrops and daffodils bobbing up. Soon the roadsides and roundabouts will be awash with swathes of yellow.

I get this weird thing before I go to sleep. It seems to have increased a lot over the past year. Sometimes I’m close to sleep and others, less so. It’s like fragments of unconscious thought, without any obvious meaning or reason. Like dreaming, I suppose. They’re not hallucinations; just film stills or shorts, flitting here and there, and I have to just observe without too much focus or they disappear. Last night I was having a conversation with a bespectacled, pineapple-shaped chocolate egg who was wearing a lab-coat. The mind boggles.

I’ve got an interview for some voluntary work tomorrow at a holistic therapies clinic. Complementary/holistic therapies is an area I’m very interested in training in, so fingers crossed the interview goes well. I’m terribly nervous as I haven’t done any work, paid or otherwise, since my last hospital admission nearly a year ago, when I resigned from my job.

The photo is one I took in a walled garden last week. I’d love to get a new phone to increase the quality of my snaps, but I don’t think that would do much to improve my composition!

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