Well today I start my diary, if anyone is reading this then I apologize now because this is probably going to sound like the most depressing thing you have ever read. My name is Molly, I live in the UK and I’m 18 years old. I am currently doing an Apprenticeship as a Chef at my old high school. There is 9 of us in total in the kitchen including me. It gets very stressful in the kitchen but what makes it worse is the atmosphere its SO BAD! I don’t do that much out of work which probably explains why I don’t have many friends. I don’t get out enough.
For the last two and a half years I have been dealing with depression and anxiety. I have never been to the doctors about my feelings but as my diary continues it will probably explain why. My two best friends (and basically my only friends) have both been diagnosed with depression and have seen a doctor, one friend (Sammy) had no help from the doctors and is still struggling now and my other friend (Emily) is practically feeling better. Its so hard for me to talk to them about how im feeling because it seems to make them worse. People that I’ve spoken to online say that I should talk to them anyway but I would rather them tell me their problems so they feel better than me worry them with mine. I have thought about suicide a lot… I have planned how I am going to do it… I have got to the point of writing a note to leave my family but I could never do it because its selfish. I still think about it though.
Anyway enough about that.. this Is who I am and my next entry’s will be about whatever happened in that day.