Living in solitude

I rarely speak of the way I live. It’s not really necessary after all. If you hardly have any friends and no partner, there’s no one to question the lack of the very same people. Obviously my family knows I’m more of a lonewolf but other people don’t.

Usually the only people I meet are the ones out in the streets and the clerks in the stores. Around 6 years ago when I finished high school I lost contact with the friends I had there. Around 4 years ago I stopped pursuing any physical or romantic relationships. The last time I hung out with a friend was 1,5 years ago – time sure goes fast.

When I don’t work I usually write, sit with my guitar or watch tv. Meditation has become a big part of my life as well. I also spend a lot of time outside. Usually going for a walk or just sitting down somewhere to look at nature or at the people if it’s a crowded area. I like to go for midnight walks. The whole world seems so calm and deserted at that time.

I’ve never had a lot of people around me but it was my own choice to seclude myself so much. Life seemed easier when it was just me and whatever contact I still have with my family. The huge amounts of time I had to spend with myself I put into things I might not otherwise have had a chance to do.

There are good and bad things about this kind of lifestyle. It’ll make you very self-sufficient and strong. I think many people fear loneliness or coping on their own and that’s something everyone should learn to do or you might end up relying on the wrong kind of people. But it’s also lonely at times and in the long run I don’t see myself living this way. Maybe if I find someone I enjoy spending time with and can relate to I’ll let them in.

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