This is a diary.
A public diary.
I don’t know why I am writing this (let alone publishing it…)and yet here I am.I suppose I can add this to the list of bad decisions I have made today.
Is this all just some subconscious cry for attention? Or a desperate way to properly express myself?
But its not like being unsure of what I am feeling is a new sensation…
For example, A few weeks ago a close friend of mine told me of the crush they were harboring towards me.
Needless to say I was floored…
For several minutes I couldn’t even think, until my mind flooded with thoughts of how I should respond, and most importantly how do I feel about this confession.
I knew I wasn’t disgusted, I had known for awhile that they were Bisexual, but other than that….nothing.
In the end I told them that we should remain friends, and whether or not that decision was based on nonreciprocal feelings or a fear of losing their friendship, I do not know.
Merely one glimpse of my horrible understanding of most emotions in general. Admittedly I am fairly young and in a confusing part of life, but I still feel I should have more than a vague recognition of my own thoughts and feelings.
As I look back on this diary entry I hesitate to publish it but I have always done best by jumping in head first.(weird I know)so I’ll just publish it anyway.