Life has gotten in the way of many things of late. Seems like I am on a roller coaster ride that just won’t end. I have had to fill in almost every day this week at work and it has taken it’s toll on my emotions. Last night I was cooking dinner and I suddenly felt very lonely. I could have someone in my life. I could come home to someone. I could cook with someone. I could have sex with someone. But……..in my life I have spent way too much time seeking company and trying to fill that void and not nearly enough time taking advantage of someone I love in my life. I have found myself not wanting just anyone, but that special someone. Someone I can laugh with. Someone who supports me. Someone who I can support. Someone I just truly like and want to be around. Not someone who can fill a void for a few moments of my life but to fill my heart and soul. Last night had my heart feeling empty.
Sunshine and I have not talked as much but we both try to grab every moment we can and that truly makes me feel special. She calls me even if it’s just for 10 minutes, she calls. I am finding myself getting closer and closer to her. Wanting to just hear her voice. She knows this, and I truly believe she feels the same. The journey continues. Hopefully for a long time.