lovesick

your presence never leaves my mind, the feeling of your lips on mine… no matter what time of day it is or what im doing, you’re always there. sometimes it’s a good thing, but it can start to destroy me. when I’m mad at you it kills me to still be angry. but I guess I can’t help it. sometimes I wish I could stop my feelings for you because I know one day it’s going to destroy me, ill never be able to get over you no matter how hard I try to. our love is so fucking good I can’t imagine being without it, but I know one way or another it’s going to stop one day and I don’t know if I can ever deal with the hurt my heart will go through. I want a forever with you, but forevers don’t exist in this world, and it hurts to know this. I know you’re my first love, but I really think we were meant to be together because this really feels so real and so right in every way. I know our relationship will have to undergo so much and it might be overwhelming and stressful and emotional and everything you don’t usually expect from a relationship but I hope you will stick with me (nobody ever said being gay was easy, especially for us closeted girls). I’ve never fallen in love before but I hope this is real, if this isn’t real then I don’t know what is real. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. you helped me learn how to love myself for everything about me, and you made me know what its like to love someone so much you can’t imagine life without them. your smile shines so bring and brings happiness to my life. you’re the sun but I’m only the moon, you shine so brightly but I only shine because of you. falling in love with you could either be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, or it can be the worst thing and ruin me for the rest of my life. I hope it’s the first one, but I can’t complain if it ends up being the lesser of the two. just being with you will give me memories I’ll never forget and I’ll be grateful to ever have been with you. I never knew that at such a young age I’d want to marry someone so badly but I guess you’re a blessing and a curse. I know ill probably end up hurt in the end, but loving you will never be something I regret.

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