I guess we will see what happens…

Today I sat around all morning and the only thing I ate was a breakfast smoothie. Almond milk, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, banana, vanilla yogurt, and peanut butter! YUM! Finally at 11:15 I brought my baby boy to his grandpa next-door, and went to the gym with Nickki, my brother in laws girlfriend. I would say she’s my friend, but I don’t know if I really consider her my “friend”. She’s very immature for her age, and definitely not a trustworthy person at all. But it’s nice to have someone to go to the gym with either way…

I had an awesome work out. I look back, and sort of feel like I could have done more if I had wandered away from Nickki… But I decided to stay with her, which was a bad idea. Anyways, when I first got there I went on the treadmill as sort of like a warm up. Once I finished on the treadmill I went to some of the arm machines on the right side of the gym. I did a couple sets there, and then worked my way to the 30 minute room to work on my legs (which are REALLY sore now). After I finished there, I went and did more leg workouts on the left side of the gym. I went on the bike for 2.50 miles, and then attempted to go on the Cybrex. It was WAY too difficult for me so I got off of that rather quickly, and went back to the treadmill for a cool down before I left…

Well, while I was on the treadmill the first time… I turned around because I felt like someone was staring at me… I was right! There was a large African American man standing behind me staring right at my butt! I was appalled, and at the same time kind of flattered. I don’t get many compliments nowadays. I’ve been with my fiance for almost 5 years now… So our relationship isn’t exactly all lovey dovey like it used to be. I had a baby 13 months ago, so I don’t look like I used to. 

Anyways, the man that was staring at my butt made eye contact with me after I turned around. He realized I had caught him, and walked away. It was creepy, but I mean… Guys will be guys right? It kind of makes me feel good about myself in a way. There was at least 50 other girls in the gym at the time, and he was staring at me…

Whenever I go to the gym, I get anxiety because I feel like everyone is always staring right at me. I feel embarrassed for being a bigger girl. I mean.. I’m not huge. I weigh 226 lbs and I definitely don’t look it at all… and I have a nice butt! 😉 Haha! Anyways, my fiance always tells me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed at all because I’m actually trying. I’m trying to do something about my weight. I guess he’s right. But today, I didn’t really think about it. I just went to the gym, and I worked out. I loved it. I’ve never gone to the gym by myself because of my anxiety… I was considering going tomorrow by myself. It would be a good way to overcome something that is hard for me.

I guess we will see what happens…

Either way, today was a good day.

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