Repulsive Shit

I must be repulsive fat shits like my bfs and father used too say all evening he has tried his hardest to be away from me down status cleaning when he had over 7 hours in the day to do it. Then a bath. But I sit there on the side of the bed crying and he ignores me, the take away comes he stuffs his face while I lay there crying. 

This just brings bad bad memory’s of my ex, no connection, just ignorance. 

I try to eat my food but keep crying, now he ask what is wrong. I say I don’t know but i do my journal says it all? Or is it just me a freak of nature? 

Any way his fucked off to do his weed because it’s more important then me. His more like his brother then he likes to admit. And yet he was there for his brother on Tuesday while I was meant to be having a mental health appointment. Maybe because his brother bribes him with weed. 

GOD LET ME FUCKING DIE I WANT TO FUCKING DIE I AM INVISIBLE LET ME FUCKING DIE

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