April 21st

In just under two weeks, I’ll officially be 24. Normally, I don’t even keep track of my birthday. I just roll my age over at the very beginning of the year and continue on like it was nothing. Because, for me, it’s just another day. I don’t feel like my life is all that much worth celebrating. But this year, I’m actually pretty excited. While my existence isn’t very special, life in general is. It’s amazing. How selfish it was to think my birthday should be a celebration for me, and not for this life on Earth? If you’ve ever seen a sunrise in the still of morning, climbing up over the top of the horizon, you’ll know that life is wonderful. It is most certainly worth celebrating.

It also helps having a good family to pick you up off your ass when you fall down. I can’t imagine where I’d be without them. They’ve shown me what it feels like to be important. And my fiance, my wonderful, wonderful love of my life, has gone above and beyond to make me feel special, too. Already I’ve been showered in affection, as well as gifts. So far, I’ve been given a couple bottles of my favourite coconut cologne, 200 sandalwood coil incense, a large box of shanthimalai incense, a little ceramic pig coil incense holder, and still to come is the katori senko. Katori senko is a mosquito repelling incense that burns slowly in a coil. It’s been used the world over for more than a century, and originates in Japan where they are often burned in iconic little ceramic pigs. Where I live is densely wooded, and full of lakes, rivers, and ponds. Not to mention, every summer I become a bug buffet. I’m like a delicacy to them. I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

The weather is nice today, and I feel very calm, content, and even happy. While nothing particularly good has happened today, nothing horrible has happened either. And any day that isn’t a bad day, is by default, a good one. I think so, at least. I had so many good emotions and energies to share, but I forget how to express them. All I can tell you is that I’m doing better than fine. The trees are all now bright and shiny emerald green, and I feel like I, too, have turned over a new leaf. This year will be different for me. I finally have a dream and a goal. I want to live. I want to get by. I don’t need fame and fortune. All I want is enough health and resources to live comfortably. I want a peaceful, humble life, and I don’t need much else. I’ll settle for “just enough.” Save the bells and whistles for someone who enjoys the sound, I’d be happy just to feel well, and be well.

My goal is to achieve both mental and physical health, and a life that is secure, stable, and calm.

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