Losing my mind

I can’t believe I haven’t written in awhile.  I guess I just got too wrapped up in too many different things.  I’ve been working and it’s been busy so I guess that’s one of the reasons.  Also, I’m dealing with getting my classes started and fixing my insurance and just plain worrying about everything per usual.  So yesterday I had my first class.  It was horrific.  I am already shy as it is and I don’t like talking in front of a bunch of people, especially strangers.  We all sat in a circle and it was a pretty large group, and we had to talk about how we got our DUI’s and ugh.  Everyone seemed so comfortable with it and some even talked on and on and on.  I mean is it a drug thing?  I dunno, I guess I’m the outcast if everyone else seemed fine with it.  Just not my scene.  Especially without any type of drugs.  That would be funny to see me getting drunk or taking a bunch of pills right before an alcohol class that I have to take because I got a DUI.  I have 18 months of that shit!  That’s not even the worst part of this story.  After class I went home and realized I wasn’t even supposed to start until next week.  So I just wasted 2 hours of my life doing something I despise and I even switched shifts with someone at work because I had it in my head somehow that I had to start yesterday.  I’m losing my mind.  So I don’t know if that class is going to count as part of my 18 months but probably not with my luck.  I’m so sick of my life right now.  I did get to do something fun last week though.  After my boyfriend drove me to get my community service/house arrest crap in order, in which I found out that I don’t even have to go until after my jail date in which my stupid lawyer didn’t tell me, we took about an hour and a half trip to this hiking site.  You go down about a mile and there is this little cave you can swim or go inner tubing through.  The water wasn’t that cold and there weren’t too many people there.  It was peaceful and I’ve never really been through a cave before.  I’ve been to one on a tour but it lasted 10 minutes and we really didn’t get to see a whole lot.  This one was just right there out in the open and free.  At the other end there were tiny waterfalls from the runoff of water on the top of the cave.  It was just amazing.  Then after that we had lunch in a near small town and it was a great little day.  I just can’t wait till this whole debacle is over with and I don’t have that sinking feeling lurking beneath the surface while I’m trying to have a good time. 

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