what am i to do

what am i to do 

when i want nothing to do with you

what am i to do

when i just wanna slap the shyt out of you

what am i to do 

when i wanna get married and dont even want you there

what am i to do

when i dont really want to see you anywhere

what am i to do 

when i have been broken and torn for so long 

that now that im healing it feels so wrong

what am i to do 

with all my doubts and my fears

the doubt that anybody can truly love me 

the doubts that anybody can truly be loyal to me

the fear of being cheated on

the fear of being hurt again

what am i to do 

when i just want all of those things to go away

at first i thought it was because of my relationships

but the truth is its because of you dad

what am i to do

when i realize that you were the missing piece of my life that i was looking for

what am i to do 

when im starting not to even give a fuck nomore

ill tell you what i am going to do

im going to allow this man to love me with all his heart

im going to put you on the back burner just like you did me

im going to let the negative thoughts go im gonna let them be

im gonna love him back the same way that he loves me

when i have a child im never going to treat them the way that you treated me

no favortism or different treatment will i give

i will love all my children equally unlike the love that was givin to me

even if they are problemed children they are still mine

and me and my children all of us will be just fine

what am i to do 

when i want nothing to do with you

what am i to do

when i just wanna look you in your eyes and say fuck you

what am i to do

when i cant let my feelings be known

why you may ask because you are still my father even tho i am grown

what am i to do 

when i get more respect for the next man as my father than i have for you

what am i to do 

when i want to tell you i wish i never knew who you were

maybe if i  didnt know it would make this better

but then i realize that would hurt my aunt and my granny

what am i to do

when i only have a relationship with your family and not you

what am i to do 

please daddy tell me what am i to do

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