08 25 16

Fuck dude.

I love when my thoughts keep me up all night and cause me to have a panic attack. Why do I over think everything? Why can’t I control how I’m feeling? I mean, I should be able to control what gets to me and what doesn’t, shouldn’t I? I feel like shit. I’m so tired of everything and I sleep so much because of how tired I am but no amount of sleep could help me feel less tired. I’m mentally exhausted. My anti depressants have been boosted up to double the dosage they were before and I still don’t feel like if they’re helping at all. I just feel lost. Hopeless. If I can’t care for me how do I expect anyone else to? This is shit. I’ve had a good past two weeks and now I’m feeling worse than ever. How happy I was felt like a high but now I’m crashing so bad. Fuck. I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up. Also, school starts in 6 days and I rather be 6 ft underground. I like work, but the people there, wow. I’ve never felt so depressed. I get panic attacks thinking about it. Is this the way high school is supposed to be? Well, I should get to bed since it’s 2 AM. I’m going to the fair later today so hopefully that gets my mind off of how depressed I am. It’s temporary happiness, but it’s happiness.

~ Toodles, Skye.♡

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