so i took a day trip to see my daughter..

drove four hours south to see my daughter since she was just out of the hospital.. the blood thinners they have her on. worry me.. so I had to make a trip… and im glad that I went because I also found out the place she had been staying for the last two weeks threw out all her belongings after she didn’t come back after a week.. ( helllooo she was in the hospital) who would do such a thing..

so I took her to a store and bought her some clothes and shoes and under wear.. omfg..

my first reaction was to go to the place she had stayed at and bust all their windows out..but I have been trying to control those reactive emotions and let karma deal with wrong doings.. don’t know if it will bring the same satisfaction.. fck my life..

then I find out the other day among all her belongings was also her purse with ID .. are you fucking kidding me? maybe she owed them money and she didn’t want to tell me .. could be…

now the latest her phone fell and screen shattered.. and she has insurance on her phone..so she is supposed to get another one today…I paid her phone bill..

I feel for her.. got that black cloud hanging over her head big time…

and then on the other hand you have my over dramatic mother.. who texted me last night that I must be busy and that she hasn’t heard from me… ( probably because I don’t just sit around with the phone up my rear end.. ) I don’t have that kind of time.. weekends come and I pick up my oldest three grandchildren from the other grandmother that has appointed custody right now to lighten her loads on weekends .. then she just has the four little ones  ” just has”  yeah that didn’t sound right.. but four kids as opposed to having seven.. lighter load is better..

I try to help out as much as I can when I can.. figure that has to be my purpose in life…

everyone always questions theirs.. yup  this is my purpose..

was sitting on the stairs yesterday outside of my building  and I had a few chest pains going on nothing major.. figured it was from something I ate.. however I am turning fifty years old next month.. you hear stuff like this happening at this age.. heart attack and stuff..

for some reason my mind started thinking.. if I dropped dead.. my closet in my room is a nightmare and so dis organized..lmao.. so I went to walmart and got some plastic bins and went through some stuff I had boxed up and threw out non relevant stuff and re organized my closet.. lol.. the shit I think about..

I could never be a hoarder… I watched this show this weekend on tv  about hoarders and I could never be a hoarder.. yes sometimes I hang onto things that I will probably never wear again or use.. but it feels so great to make room and get rid of un necessary things.. like a refreshing feeling…

so had a nice four day weekend..church was good took the kids sunday.. they were bored.. ill never find a man in church if my pastor keeps talking about sins of the flesh… and lustful thinking.. wtf…

and the older you get the worse it gets.. so many people have issues.. over compulsive issues.. like a great friend of mine for example.. twenty two years as friends.. he just went through a divorce.. some of his ways are so quirky.. hes a neat freak to the core..i just wish I had that kind of time in life to be so anal… I really don’t complain about being single  because it has a lot of bright sides to it.. and maybe its a blessing to be single…

anyway.. my mom texted me and tried the pity party text messaging.. saying she was having some pains in her side… and I believe that yes she is  because she never followed through with the specialist when she was diagnosed with kidney stones and they wanted to do an outpatient procedure..

they aren’t going to mysteriously vanish boo boo.. eventually they are going to flare up again  and then she wants to act surprised and wonder why …  then wants to go a step further and say she doesn’t have that long to go…

true .. she doesn’t have that long to go.. because she puts all her time and effort into her hsubands VA appointments and dr appointments for his lung cancer treatments that he is still currently smoking  in the midst of all that..

so because he doesn’t want to take his health serious.. you put yours on a back burner?

stop the planet I want off.

 

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