i wonder a lot whether it’s worth it to keep living

not in a way where like, i’m actually going to kill myself. i think my kind of constant thinking about it is that i started thinking about it when my neural pathways were still forming or some shit, so it’s gonna kind of always be there. isn’t life grand.

no but what i mean is like. none of my friends like me. i can see it in the way they act around me and the way they look at each other when i come along. i know i know i know i’m an annoying person but i don’t know how to stop being such an insufferable person. literally the only things that matter to me rn are my friends, and i don’t know what i’m going to do when they finally say they don’t want me around anymore. it’s inevitable i suppose just like death.

god aren’t i morbid

anyway, can’t wait until my cowardly ass finally gets the courage to go through with dying. peace

One thought on “ejhbf;kgjb”

  1. Darling, it’s too soon for you to die. Ask God to take those dark thoughts out of your mind and set you free to live and live abundantly. You have a destiny to fulfill. And it’s not your friends (current friends). As you get older you’ll make new friends, like in college and afterward at work, and your friend skills will improve also. Life is a gift. Please don’t ever think of throwing it away. Ask God to help. He will.

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