Empty.

How did I even end up in this dark place in my head? Alone. My family, friends, everyone close to me. They think of me as this cheerful, happy go lucky chap. They don’t know, deep down inside, there’s nothing. Not even a single bit of feeling left. Empty. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be contented. To love someone and to be loved by someone. To have a connection with someone. I found that connection once but now its gone. She left. Leaving me to pick up the pieces of whats left to my broken heart. That was five years ago. Still, up to today, I cant seem to establish that same connection with another person. They say that time heals all pain. I doubt that. Time only pushes those feelings deeper into your soul. Then a certain event, smell or even sound, snaps it back up. To remind you that there’s nothing left in that empty heart of yours. I treat her the way every lady deserves to be treated. I never lied to her about anything. I sacrificed every piece of me to make her happy. I worked around the clock to make sure she gets the best of everything. But she still left. Where did I go wrong? Was I too good for her? Or was the other guy the better man for her? I cant find the answers to those questions. All the others after her, they didn’t work out well. They tried. But I still cant seem to find the right feelings for them. Am I now fully incapable of love? I’ve tried. One, too many times but I still cant find that feeling. I cry myself to sleep some nights to soothe the feeling of emptiness in me. I wish that someone could bring some light into this darkness.

3 thoughts on “Empty.”

  1. If you can forgive her ( I know it’s very hard) your heart will have a second chance at love. Forgiveness can be as simple as asking God to bless her. Desiring good for her. You will not always have an empty heart, dear fellow. This was a deep blow, and your heart is still stunned — but there is more life ahead, and better! Hugs.

  2. “They say that time heals all pain. I doubt that. Time only pushes those feelings deeper into your soul. Then a certain event, smell or even sound, snaps it back up.”

    Soooooooooo true!! Supposedly these are learning experiences. Stay strong and true to yourself. Maybe one day your heart will open back up to a girl who is READY for you <3

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