Unorganized spoiled life Rant…

Issues doesn’t even begin to describe my life. It is a decent description thou. I understand everyone has them and things are tough for many people. What about the my life is tough. Anyone who sees me in my natural settings, sees a girl who is adored by her family, loved by her friends, and has a job that many would kill for. What they do not see is, the family that destroyed her childhood memories with their foolish adult games and lack of care for rape. A girl who has friends, but she can not trust any with all of her secrets or rely on them to be there for her (except for dani). As for the job, it is cushy and secure. What is does not offer is freedom from my family, money to support my self away from them, or the lust to wake up every morning and be excited to go do my job. The sad part of it all, is I could get away if I could learn to manage and save my money. I spend faster than I can save and I know it is a issue, but it is gone before I think about it. My car needs a new mirror, AC, new tires, and I have credit card debt from buying clothes and purses with my friends. I am paying to go back to school out of pocket because I can not get a loan from anyone nor do I want to cause my self more debt. I have lied to my boyfriend about non important things, but they are still lies. I wish I could stop. I want to be back up north. In my own life. In my own home. With people who know nothing about my past. Only the girl from the sunshine state. 

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