time flies… dates of entries are proof..

wow.. that was a fast 18 days that flew by since last entry… proof that time flies…

so what has transpired or changed since then?  pretty much nothing… court came for my oldest daughter and son in law… and they were quiet when I got home from work.. no one stated any details.. ( probably because they knew in my mind, I already knew the details)

but im sure it was safe to say that no legitimate place to take your kids home to,  would resort in a future court date and home study… now the real question.. when the fck does that happen.?

in a lot of ways im really disgusted that there is no motivation or speed into which my daughter and son in law are striving forward to provide this new life has one big happy family.. what I do see is their constant criticism of my son in laws mothers boyfriend..

im sure as a man of the house.. ( whether my daughter and son in law like it or not ) the mothers boyfriend is an active part in taking care of these kids as well.. I notice that they have a lot to say about him.. whether he aggravates them   or makes fun of them.. or doesn’t take their parenting skills too seriously.. it is what it is.. and I have continually told them that for now they are at everyones mercy.. they have no pot to piss in, there fore they really don’t have a “voice” so to speak…

and while they might not agree that they like the mothers boyfriend, I tend to see it more like they hate anybody stating facts…facts that don’t build them up into their imaginary world they seem to live in..

so last night.. I get a call , my daughter is crying… immediately I go into panic mode…

she says that they were at the mother in laws house and an argument broke out with my son in law and his moms boyfriend.. ( well I have been waiting for that event.. I have seen the built up feelings coming ) so no physical confrontation took place.. but the boyfriend called the police…

why would he call police knowing there is an active open case involving the kids and that at any time they could be taken out of the home if that’s what child services decides to do… what is the moms boyfriend thinking?.. he isn’t thinking about anybody but himself… turns out  that the mom and her boyfriend have been a little rocky lately… and well it just needed a situation to blow the volcano up… and it did…

and moms  boyfriend decided to show who had the upper hand… and decided to utilize his power so to speak…

a little while after this explosion  it turned out that one of the kids who is chronically sick with asthma.. had a fever  and being sunday night the only alternative is the emergency room.. so this all happened last night the blow up episode with son in law and his moms boyfriend and then the emergency room where I had to go help out with the kids.. because the moms boyfriend decided he didn’t want to help out cause his mood was now piss mode..

oh he came to the hospital and went in the back with her and three of the kids.. I kept  four kids out in the waiting area with me from 9pm til almost 1am…

as we were walking out all together.. he mentions to me.. that he appreciates me coming through again for them.. ( what the fck is wrong with this dude? ) thank me for coming thru for them?  first of all I say to him im a blood relative.. there is nothing I would not do for these kids.. my blood is the same that runs thru their veins… he then says  yeah im not blood but im always there.. and still here… so I say  to him that what he did earlier in the evening was fckd up.. calling the police..he says to me  .. well I did it  a different way to where it wont affect him.. I made a report…  ( are you fcking serious)  dude!  I get louder now.. we are all still walking towards the car.. I said calling the police period, is not the right thing to do.. were you in fear for your life? no, your ego was bruised and you got your balls wrapped up around your ears  and you called the police like a little bitch…and this guy is no saint.. he spent 20 years in prison on drug trafficking charges he has been out 5 years now.. but  who spends 20 years in lock up  and  you have a simple argument with a family member and now you want to call the police to defend you?  where do they do that at?

vindictive is what he was being.. he wanted to pull in his power and throw it around like a big dick… what an asshole he did not like what I had to say.. he didn’t even help my son in laws mother put the stroller in the back of her van  he just got in his vehicle and sped off.. and made sure every body heard it.. but before he left  I let him know  if anything happens in a negative light with my grand kids.. my son in law wont be the person he has to worry about..  I see these types  all the time..    you date  someone   they clearly  have  family and responsibilities.. and  then  bozo the clown comes along  and starts to think that they can change all that  and put stipulations in place and restrictions.. and then demands.. fck that…

if the boyfriend loves that woman enough  he will shut the fck up and do what it takes to help her get through this difficult time we are all going through..

otherwise.. keep it moving bruhhhh you broke off from each other a year back  anyway  you should have stayed gone  if you are so miserable, situation was the same back then.. so blame no one but yourself if you aren’t happy… he has been around this family two and a half years  its not like he doesn’t know what is involved

I hate when people land in situations  and then try to turn it into their situation and what they believe it should be because it currently doesn’t benefit them in any way…

for now.. im out of control with anger..im sick of poor decisions.. im sick of attitudes.. im sick of everybody basically…

what pisses me off most is the fact that my son in law thinks his mom wants her boyfriend to leave the house.. maybe  today  she does  but tomorrow,,, probably not so much.. and I keep telling my son in law and daughter  that anything his mom has going on right now and the way she has it going.. is because that is her choice….

another one that plays the victim role…  give it a break sista….

either tell him he has to go  or shut the fck up and deal with what you have to deal with ..

and still in no way,……. that should affect my grand kids..;

we are all stressed out  at how this whole mess has made a bigger mess..

went home at lunch time.. daughter was still asleep… son in law  was not there,,, probably working that phantom job he talks about…

 he should have been working long before now  and maybe his moms boyfriend wouldn’t be kicking such an attitude towards him if he at least saw the effort.. yes I can sympathize and see the other point of view….. of course..

maybe if my son in laws mother would slow her roll and take a break from men for awhile  she might not have these problem type men trying to control her and tell how and what to do…

she was a club monkey as recent as back to a year and a half or so ago… but became attached to one of the grandkids that was born three years ago.. and that would be grandbaby #5 whom she ended up taking care of right after my daughter gave birth because my daughter went into post partum depression.. so  the mother in law  would take baby #5 a lot and keep him.. and there fore a strong bond formed  and she became attached…

kind of like me and grandbaby #1… she is now 12 years old.. but from day one  I have been hands on with all of them..

I remember at one point.. I was starting to try and date  after I got divorced..  and a particular  guy didn’t  like that I had my grand daughter so much.. seemed to hinder plans he wanted to make… so he had to go… because that’s just a sign  there are more times to come  where control will be tried over and over… and im just not the one…

speaking of divorce…

ex husband… ( there are three )    ex husband  #2 happened because of  ex husband #1  cheated on me.. and ex husband #2  was the boyfriend of the girl  ex husband #1  cheated with… yeahhhhhhhhh   what you think I live a boring life?  ex husband #3  was “family”   already  because I had match made his brother with my sisters  sister in law.. 20 years ago  to which they recently went thru their own divorce  six kids later..

but  yeah  ex husband #3  was a brief marriage.. and we ran off to vegas to marry.. about that time we were getting married  a girl  he had spent time with had come forward  and claimed to be pregnant with his child… and while it happened prior to us being together… it still happened  and I couldn’t handle it… so we dissolved our marriage.. and  I was really into that marriage… I thought  wow.. ok  this is going to be it..  yeah….and that happened  ten years  ago…

out of the blue  he started contacting me about a month or so ago.. we went out Thursday night  that just passed and had such a great time together… a lot of chemistry still there… a lot!!!  and  I don’t  know  what will happen…  the fact that we are re connected  like this  speaks  volumes.. its  something I really thought  would never happen.. im still great friends  with ex husband #1 and #2… got 25 years into all three  total…

ex husband #1  called me this weekend  and said he will be back in florida  next week and be here for several months.. since he lives in north Dakota  and blizzards will be kicking in there soon… hes a great pal around  buddy  and I know  he always looks out for me.. same as ex husband #2.. he happens to be remarried  ex husband #2  and I love his wife.. and they have two beautifule kids.. she knows im not a threat to their marriage.. and she also knows  we have a life bond forever.. that’s  just the way it is..

now ex husband #3  comes back to life.. and while our marriage was so short lived.. I have always wondered  what if…

maybe god is rewarding me… and giving me a re do…. or giving me more clarity to look at him in another light… to see that it was better we parted ways?  I don’t know.. but  im liking the reconnection  and the feelings that have come along with it…

new chapters?   who knows….

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