I had high hopes of focusing on my diet during the holiday season. While everyone else is living it up and stuffing themselves, I was going to try a well planned juice detox. At this point, it isn’t necessary. I have no appetite. Food is not appealing what so ever and tastes like ash in my mouth. The tiny amounts that I have managed to consume have irritated my belly.
What’s worse is that I have been using comfort eating as a strategy with the kids. I’ve been cramming sweets in their mouths trying to fill that aching void.
I know it is stupid and I probably sound like a little kid, but I miss her so much. I knew it was inevitable, but damnit. What’s worse is that it’s so obvious Jake misses her too. He keeps bringing me her black mouse, the one she played with on her sicker days when all she could do was bat at it with her front paws. He looks up at me like “Where is she, mommy? I want my sister.” Poor Jake. He has even thrown up a few times. Stress effects his stomach too. Atleast Tyrion and Andy have moved on in typical feline style.
Deedee and I talked about things since this effects her the most. We are staying a 3 cat family, but she would like to get a chinese water dragon. The last lizard we had in the house was a sweetie beardie that we re-homed up North. We would have loved to take her with us, but we were worried about how to handle moving with all that specialized equipment. In the end, the bearded dragon was given to the best possible person and has flourished in her new home. Of course this makes me want to cry. One time Deedee took the beardie out of her tank to show her friends and Toothless snuck into the empty take and got stuck. I found her in there looking utterly embarassed. Naturally I took a few pictures before I rescued her.
So I guess that’s it. Oh, I should write something I am Thankful for – My family. Together we will get through this. I love my family with all my heart.