I don’t want to adult today. I should have run this morning. I can’t focus on anything. I think I’ll leave a little early today. I have to get a few groceries. Party at a friend’s house tomorrow. Don’t know what to wear. Silly. It’s a group of grownups. I shouldn’t be concerned about it. But I want to look nice. I want to feel pretty. It’s holiday time. I want to get into the spirit. I’m hungry. Yoga is really paying off. I feel stronger. Definitely stronger. Still have a lot of fluff that I’d like to make disappear, but the strength thing – that’s huge for me. Christmas card needs to be done this weekend. No pressure. No pressure. Should be no reason for any anxiety regarding the card. Especially this year because I know we have some good pictures. BIL is in hospital with pneumonia and diabetes complications. His health has been poor for a long time. Praying for the best for him. Other BIL visited with new girlfriend and her son over Thanksgiving. By his own admission it is a relationship of convenience – for both of them. I just want him and the kids to be happy. Can’t get my head in the game here at work. I just thought of doing a work task and it felt like a weight on me. And I want to run. Run away. Friend is going to get a pedi with another friend tomorrow. I’m jealous. Truly. I want to go to. But I can’t because I am going to see the Nutcracker with my girl and her school orchestra. It will be fun I am sure of it. I want to do both though. I want it all. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I’m not doing that enough. Tired. Want to close my eyes. Think I will get more coffee. The coffee here is mediocre at best.