These are from older notebook journals
October 16, 2016
I awoke around 5 am this morning. I opened my eyes and heard the voices. It seems that they are never gone for very long. If I’m lucky, occasionally I’ll get a few moments of peace and quiet when I first awaken, but sometimes this does not happen. I suppose that spirit attachment is a fitting term to use to describe the situation that I find myself in. These harassing spirits certainly seem to me to be attached to my life. They follow me wherever I go, chattering away. They chatter away with their tricks, ploys, mind games insults and criticisms. Most of my days now are pretty routine like this. They seem perfectly content just to linger around me chattering all the time. I would have thought that perhaps they would have gotten bored with the whole situation by now and moved on, but this has not occurred. They linger here. They linger where I am, wherever I go…attached. I can make myself more and more indifferent to their presence, but there is nothing that I am able to do to drive and keep them away for good. They have free will just like anyone and can come and go as they please. Perhaps since they know that I can perceive them to some degree, they find it entertaining to try and get a rise out of me. I can often feel them while I’m trying to sleep at night as if they were literally latching themselves unto me. I actually have asked them what this is all about and I’m often given the reply “energy transference.” Are they somehow draining energy from me? I often feel very worn down but this whole unfortunate situation also has been messing with my sleep routine for quite a while so it’s hard to say what is the root cause of what. And besides, they talk so much non-sense that I can never take anything that they say at face value but must take it all with a serious grain of salt.
As I write this now, I can hear their voices coming in rather strongly over the sound of my Heater/Air Conditioner in my utility closet. I hear their voices originating and being carried over the sounds coming from there so often that I’ve given in to calling my utility closet “their room.” As strange as it may seem, sometimes I do try and keep a sense of humor when reflecting upon this whole situation. I suppose that it helps me to deal with it better. Perhaps it relieves some of the heavy burden that would otherwise weigh upon my thoughts. Sometimes I laugh at the situation. Sometimes I laugh at “them” just like they were laughing at me when this situation all started, when my suffering seemed to fill them with great amusement. Now sometimes I make them the butt of my jokes. I’ve turned the situation around to a degree you could say.
October 11, 2016
I just made my first attempt at getting some sleep. It wasn’t successful…the voices beat me up pretty bad, so here I am writing an insomnia journal entry again. I just took two doses of sleep aid. Hopefully they’ll take effect soon. Something weird happened tonight. I was hearing this weird chanting coming out of my utility closet where my heating system runs. I always hear their voices coming in over the noise of my heater or air conditioner, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard chanting. The regular voices were still there, but in the background noise is where I heard this bizarre chanting. Several months ago, I thought I heard music coming in over the noise of the utility closet, but this has been rare in my own personal situation with these oppressing spirits. I’ve seen it in a few other cases. In some of those other cases it was more frequent. I suppose it’s to be expected that there are some differences between each case of this, but from what I’ve seen so far, there also seems to be many similarities.
October 12, 2016
The only thing really out of the ordinary today was that when I got home from work a little after 5 pm, I felt extremely tired and went and crawled into bed for a bit to rest. As I did this, it seemed like the entire room came alive with voices. Some were very faint, some were much clearer, but there was many of them, all talking to me at once. I was troubled by this, it’s been a while since I’ve heard this many voices and unfortunately, they were all of the negative sort, but I got up, brushed it off and went about my business, giving it little mind beyond that.
October 13, 2016
Here I am fighting to get to sleep which unfortunately is all too common with this situation. I dozed off for a little bit but then I was awakened by someone outside of my condo being rather noisy. I awoke to an onslaught of voices and strange physical sensations. Things have quieted down a bit now for the most part. I can tell that there is a spirit talking into my ear right now, I hear the faintest of voice in my left ear, but also I feel a faint, very faint breath hitting my earlobe. It’s faint, but still quite noticeable. I’ve experienced this many times before.
Unfortunately, I’m having trouble getting back to sleep. I’m exhausted but just finding it difficult to doze off right now. I just took some sleep aid. I hope that it kicks in very soon. I so often find myself in this very same situation. In fact, if I go back through my journal, so much of it is talking about the same exact situations. A constant battle to get to sleep. These malevolent spirits that oppress me are quite without mercy in regards to this. Every night, they try and prevent me from sleeping. They want to wear me down. This is one of their most common tactics. I’ve seen this in many accounts of this situation. For the most part, the sleep aids help me out allot, but every once and awhile, they’ll fail me and I’m stuck with insomnia. Every night is a struggle for sleep. Some nights I win, some nights I lose….that’s how it goes. I can hear the voices now, mostly they’re chattering away over the hum of my refrigerator. But there’s still a voice that’s speaking very close to my left ear I can tell. I’ll give sleep another try now.