Pulled in several directions. I am at work. Feeling scattered. My niece is visiting (staying with us) for a few days. She brings with her an enormous elephant that sits everywhere she is. The elephant is alcohol. We never talk about it. My family doesn’t talk about anything that is uncomfortable. She is sober – and as far as I know has been sober – for a while. I want to talk with her about it. I did once after she got a DWI. It was a few years ago. She was broken by it. I said I was available for her. I don’t feel like I have been. I want to talk with her again about it to see where she is with this. Is she completely giving up alcohol? Is she able to casually drink? I just don’t know. She had a beer last night with dinner. Did she feel pressured? H had a beer, I had a glass of wine. Did she need the beer? I just don’t know. Should we have not ordered drinks? I just don’t know.
My BIL and nephew are also coming tomorrow night for a couple of days (they stay at a hotel when they visit and spend a lot of time with S which is wonderful for both nephew and S). D has a dance tomorrow night. S has practice tonight. Taking niece to yoga with me tonight. I am at work. Niece is going skiing today. I’m taking tomorrow off of work to go skiing with her. I am at work. Supposed to be doing work.
My brain feels like a gigantic swirl. I’m reaching for L. I’m missing L.
I need to breathe. I just need to stop and breathe. I need some positive energy. I need some healing energy.