Pain

While it isn’t considered good to be fearful or to worry about anything if you have God, nonetheless, I am human. I guess with being a Christian, it’s inevitable that I have people in my life that don’t believe, which can be hard.

It’s always best to have Christian friends. Reasons why it’s so hard to have non-believers? Deep down inside you realize that this person isn’t saved, therefore they can die and you can never see them again. In a way, it’s like seeing someone with a terminal illness that might kill them any moment. You understand they won’t be there one day, but you try to ignore those thoughts. My best friend isn’t Christian, a lot of them aren’t . I don’t know anyone my age that is Christian. It’s lonely. It’s hard to find ones my own age.

It’s also sad, since this person I care about is fading slowly. If they die, that is the last of them. They are no longer there anymore then, ever by my side again.

Non-Christians might not understand, but it’s like watching someone die. Being around them laces your mind with happiness but also a drop of sadness. It’s painful a lot. but I won’t give up.

I care about them a lot, their well-being. I love them all, just that it’s hard feeling this way.

It’s hard feeling alone even when you’re not. It’s hard trying to be a Christian without other Christians. Sure, it’s not needed, but having someone by your side is always better and easier than having to go through the process alone. Support, something.

I’m always sad deep down inside, because I know their fate, and that’s what sucks. The funny part? I can cry to them, express how I feel, sometimes trying to get what little assurance that they even acknowledge how I feel. Just something small is all I want. It doesn’t even have to have anything to do with God. Yet, they don’t understand, so they sometimes find it silly, but it’s painful, a lot. 

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