Can’t Deal With Him Right Now

So tonight its the I gotta take care of myself bull. Other days, hours, moments, its oh.. I love you so dearly. I cant stand the wishy washy crap. How close as I to saying screw this.?? See I lost my mom to suicide 3 months ago. And trust me no sympathy on his end. He actually has gotten worse. He does deal with his own issues but so do I. Including the death of my husband 4 years ago to cancer. We have been together for 3 years. Its always been more about his family then me anyways. I’ve always known that. I come last it seems. Tonight he said he is making it about him now. Hmmm. Seems strange. Hasn’t it always been? The rude sarcastic mean comments. Then the I’m sorry I cant lose you.  He gave me an engagement ring last year on February 14th. Needless to say now he doesn’t want to get married and gets highly agitated when I say something about it. I took of the ring and said screw it. Now he says well I do want to marry you I’m just scared. I’m so tired of these games. I also cant really deal with it all right now with what happened with my mom. I do love him ofcourse and I’ve been hoping it would stop. I feel sad and angry everyday at him. He rarely touches me now and kisses me. Sex is almost non existent. He blames me for fighting with him. I just want all his bull to stop and all I can think to do is ask and tell him how I feel. That isn’t working. He can be the sweetest guy but he can be a real ass. Its the weirdest shift.  Did i mention he just retired from the military 4 years ago. He does battle with ptsd but so do I. We are both stubborn and hard headed. He is more then me. I was in a good 17 year marriage prior to him. He was not in a good marriage for 15 years. I feel he may treat me like he did her. I know she wasn’t great and cheated but he his seriously lacking respect towards women. Ive tried to help him but he seems to regress.I guess you cant change people. How do you teach a man to respect you? Is that possible.

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