Near the end of March

So, I haven’t heard from Ohio after I ask why he felt that his question was appropriate to ask someone they didn’t even know. I doubt I will get a response. It’s my bet that he was looking for someone who wouldn’t mind it at all. The other message that I got was basically a scammer. I read his profile and it was well done even though it was short. His message though was what gave him away. For such a good profile, the message was littered with typos and dripping with over done up flattery. Today it was gone and doesn’t exist. So, my guess is scammer. I got another message from someone I didn’t know swearing that he dated me before. I messaged back to say no, never happened. Anything else is pretty much as it normally is. Likes up and down as days go by but those are the few messages that I’ve gotten.

I worked today and it was pretty much an easy day. My back bothered me today, but I managed to get through it. I plan to take something and crash here soon. I pray though that I’ll be able to get sleep. I have a raging migraine but figured I would get some of this done tonight. Thankfully I’m off tomorrow and can sleep in. This weekend is going to be busy though. I work all weekend. I appreciate being busy though. It abates the loneliness from time to time. Though I found myself thinking of setting myself up with a loveless relationship with the Hermit. No love. No sex. Nothing. Just saying that we were together for the sake of it. Sometimes I think that’s perfect arrangement for me. There’s no chance of being hurt. There’s no chance of having to worry about anything. Even more perfect is the distance. It makes it far easier that there can’t be anything there and there wouldn’t be. It’s settling I know and it’s pointless, but as I said seems like the perfect arrangement for me. Not like they’re lining up. Besides, it was made clear to me that there would be no strangers allowed here at the house. Not like anyone would visit me anyway. Although I find it interesting that I’m not allowed any visitors really. I guess that it’s another thing I have to put up with. Goes with not having my own place really. I will be paying rent but basically I have no say in anything that has to do with me. Makes my isolation all the easier I guess.

I think I’m going to go to bed. That may be for the best before I get off on another rant. I do know that I’ve lost some weight on my “too broke to eat” diet. Seems to be working out well for me. With any luck, I may get back down to 95 lbs. again. I would say about now I’m between 125 – 135 pounds. With any luck, I’ll get down to a pseudo attractive weight. That much will be nice. Though I won’t ever be able to afford the boob job that I would need or anything else that would make me attractive enough to be out in “proper” public without a bag on my head. Can’t fix ugly. Just one of those things. It’s why I don’t put pictures up of myself. Doing that is redundant. I’ve done it on the dating sites, but that’s only because it’s required on most of them. I have one on Facebook, but I have deleted all the rest. There wasn’t a point of keeping pictures of a life up that wasn’t real nor will it exist. The less that anyone has to look at me, the better for them. Anyway, I think it’s time to hit the hay. I may do more tomorrow but this migraine is getting the better of me.

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