I wanted to start off positive but…

…there’s really no helping it. At least I think so.

It’s Easter Sunday today and instead of traditional Easter eggs, there’s a bunch of different chocolate bars spread out at each of our places at the dinner table. They always leave stuff like this late. I’m grateful for anything really. I mean, I’m 25 so probably too grown up for this kinda stuff. I’m a big kid at heart still. But I hear my younger sister and such going on about how her friends get 7 Easter eggs or something, and my parents efforts kinda pale in comparison even to what they used to do in the past. I guess priorities have changed. But chocolate is chocolate so naturally I love it anyway 🙂

I just wish I could enjoy it. I’m sat here at the table after eating a hot cross bun for breakfast, and bit into a bit of chocolate afterwards. But the thing is it’s just not fun. Because I’ve been silly enough to run out of antidepressants. 

Backing up a bit: I ran out of tablets on Friday, but totally forgot. The pharmacy I pick stuff up from is closed on a Saturday. When this has happened before I usually can tell myself: “Hey, it’s cool, we can last til Monday.” But this time around it’s a Bank Holiday Monday, a whole extra day closed for the local chemist. To top it off I seem to have underestimated my withdrawal symptoms. Dizziness and headaches are to be expected, but with antidepressants…oh, boy. I don’t know if you have felt this – but imagine a headache in which you can feel your whole skull in your head, or headaches where it feels lie your scalp is open and it feels “airy” , like you are suddenly aware of the top of your own brain. 

Last night I had this horrible metallic taste in my mouth that just would not go away, and I could feel all the nerves in my teeth. My whole system just feels shaken up and like I’m on a different planet. I’m not down, but it just sucks that i can’t remember tablets and then this happens. I really need to work on this whole “taking care of myself” thing.

 

But hey, at least I’ve started journaling.

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