So I’ve decided to start this journal as I begin my pursuit of happiness, for the past 12 months maybe even more I have completely lost the person I was, I’ve been unhappy, I’ve been angry, anxious, depressed, disgusted in how I look and extremely lonely.
Last year we got the devastating news that my husband had cancer, it was completely out the blue and I can’t describe how it felt, he is relatively young and healthy, with young children this news absolutely knocked us for six.
Thankfully after a long battle he was given the all clear and things are looking up, but throughout his journey I basically let myself go, I went up two dress sizes was covered in acne and suffered from anxiety attacks almost daily! I work on my own almost all the time and the loneliness has been unbearable – and the anger oh my days I turned into a horrible nasty person, if I wasn’t shouting and ranting at my husband it would be at the kids, literally anything could set me off and I hated the person I’d become.
At the start of this year I set out some goals I wanted to achieve these were:
*find a job I enjoy and that will give me my confidemce back
so number 3 hasn’t been easy and to be honest that’s been shelved for now, but the other 2 are well under way.
I joined slimming world 2 weeks ago and have already lost 6lb – I feel a noticeable difference and am hoping to get at least a stone off before our holiday in July.
I have also found a new job, a total career change with less hours but I will be working with people every day, it’s something I enjoy doing and I’m hoping it will kick start me getting my social skills back. After feeling so self conscious – almost shy for so long, I hope it’ll change my life and also translate to my home life too, I figured if I’m happy at work I’ll be happier at home!
Im going to use this journal to track my progress and hopefully note an improvement in all aspects of my life.
This is day one of a brand new me…..