Confessions of An Anonymous Star 7.22 (Sacrifices by Drake)

Above: keys to the many cars I’ve obtained amid my journey…but no wife, longterm gf, or consistent companionship w/ a female…

 

After hearing about the death of Chester from LP, I started thinkin’ what everyone was thinkin’…Why? 

He had everything. Stardom, a beautiful wife, awesome family, money…he looked healthy, I’m sure he had nice cars, & homes too. But, why take your own life..?

I have a good idea why…Instead of holding it all in, for the sake of a dream, that takes away, just as vigorously, as it gives, I’m truthing it…

  1. The women you long for, yet loathe, are (inwardly) ugly. They’re deceitful. They’re on the takish, &  jealous too…But they’re very attractive. So you’re kinda f*****…both literally & figuratively…The gay men, make sense, but they wanna f*** you too. So…*sighs* It sucks…and I refuse to appease em sexually. Somethin’ inside says no…
  2. Your immediate family takes a hit. There’s always a sacrifice, for eveything. Mine is so f*****, that it’s way too easy of a target, to even write about it. Everyday at some point with these people around me (home, neighborhood, work, gym, online, stores, etc.), I want to end my own life. Of course, there may be a moment, when things seem ok, but it will always get worse. It’s life. This is one reason, I’m assured that powerful people, with knowledge & awareness, end their lives. You’re just very well aware, that either way you go…you’re f*****…
  3. Also, you don’t have real friends. They’re only around, because you’re powerful, wealthy, and of stardom. If not for that, they truly would n’t f*** with you, like they so seemingly are. 
  4. If you don’t do drugs(like me), you’re really f*****. Cuz, there is nothing else to numb the pain, of all the, knowing. 

 

Honestly, I feel like I know too much. That’s kinda why I’m still around, though. There is a power & swag, that comes with completion. You have to complete what you’ve started: creative journeys, marriages, projects, and yes, life. I often have inclinations of attacks, death, manipulation, and suicide. I have such, more often than I do of inclinations of love, kindness, peace, well being, and joy. The greatest joy I have is usually the joy I give others.  Other than that, that’s it. I jokingly tell people (but I’m being honest) it is just not in the cards for me to fall in love(that to me is the true price of fame…You can’t truly love). Even the kind of women, who are not really physically attractive, kinda low or even kinda high self esteem, turn against me, if I show them, the slightest bit of attention. They eventually, expect me to move, when they want. When I don’t, they try to hurt me. I pull back (cuz I truly don’t give a f***) and it all goes, as I’ve written. That, is indeed a consistency in my life, along with ups & downs. 

Today, I learned that I have even more work to complete, and more money is needed. Of course, this all comes as I’m supposed to be, resting…

Had I not known so much truth, I would’ve ended my life today (or before)…

RIP Chester B. 

In the End by LP 

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